How on earth do I have a 13 year old? An official teenager. I know, I get it, “time flies", but this is mind blowing. I merely blinked and suddenly here you are, a mister “has an answer for everything, eye rolling” 8th grader. Wasn't I just yesterday following your school bus to Kindergarten worrying if you would find your way? Wondering if you would be safe? Wondering if your teacher would be nice? Wondering if you would make friends? Well if I can be honest I am still wondering if you will find your way; not just your way to your little Kindergarten desk but your way, my oldest, your way in the world.
The days are long and the years are truly so short when you are raising little ones. I am still having some long and utterly exhausting days with my little girls but looking back, the years seem to have flown by with my oldest, my son, my now all grown up baby boy.
Weren't you just a baby, my first baby, the one I learned all of the nursery rhymes for, the baby who I rocked to sleep every night? It seems like just yesterday you were being read to, begging to be read one more story at bedtime. Now here you are solving for “y” and helping your sister sound out her letters. You are carrying in the grocery bags for me, your mom, and I am no longer carrying you. You are learning to cook and fend for yourself when it seems it was only a short while ago I was feeding your once chubby face pureed carrots from a jar. Those sweet baby feet are no longer and now sport smelly baseball cleats. The Wiggles tunes no longer play from your toy room but rather dreadful rap music from your IPad in your sloppy, locker room smelling bedroom, the room that often have to pry you out of for some air and to make sure you’re still alive.
Gone are the days of packing your lunches and finishing them off with napkin notes from Mom because, duh you're cool now. Much to my dismay you're lunching teen style, cheese fries and Snapple Iced Tea. I often wonder where you sit at lunch and am hoping you ask the new kid to sit with you too. Do you run with the crowd or are you a leader? I pray it’s the latter.
Each day I watch you, I may seem busy but I'm watching. I'm watching the way you speak, the way you listen, how you use your manners, and noticing when you don't. I'm watching the way you are figuring this life thing out, the way you navigate your newly found opinions and personality. And this is what we want- Moms for our kids to grow and have mind's of their own, right? Well here we are teen years. I don't quite know when all of this happened, when you stopped snuggling, when you stopped needing to be reminded to brush your teeth or to do your homework, but it stopped. I didn't know it would happen to me, that you my child would start telling me I have no idea what I'm talking about, that you, my boy would kindly ask me to stop cheering loudly while you're at bat because it's "embarrassing", but here we are.
There is so much I do not understand about the teen years but please know I am doing my best. So to my oldest, although I do and will struggle letting you grow up, keep doing your thing. God gave me you, my first blessing, to teach me how to be selfless, how to put another before myself, how to be a mom and for that I can never thank YOU or God enough. You are caring, thoughtful and wise and I could not be prouder of the young man you are becoming. You have mountains to climb and the world ahead of you but please my boy, never forget you were and will always be MY world.
The days are long and the years are truly so short when you are raising little ones. I am still having some long and utterly exhausting days with my little girls but looking back, the years seem to have flown by with my oldest, my son, my now all grown up baby boy.
Weren't you just a baby, my first baby, the one I learned all of the nursery rhymes for, the baby who I rocked to sleep every night? It seems like just yesterday you were being read to, begging to be read one more story at bedtime. Now here you are solving for “y” and helping your sister sound out her letters. You are carrying in the grocery bags for me, your mom, and I am no longer carrying you. You are learning to cook and fend for yourself when it seems it was only a short while ago I was feeding your once chubby face pureed carrots from a jar. Those sweet baby feet are no longer and now sport smelly baseball cleats. The Wiggles tunes no longer play from your toy room but rather dreadful rap music from your IPad in your sloppy, locker room smelling bedroom, the room that often have to pry you out of for some air and to make sure you’re still alive.
Gone are the days of packing your lunches and finishing them off with napkin notes from Mom because, duh you're cool now. Much to my dismay you're lunching teen style, cheese fries and Snapple Iced Tea. I often wonder where you sit at lunch and am hoping you ask the new kid to sit with you too. Do you run with the crowd or are you a leader? I pray it’s the latter.
Each day I watch you, I may seem busy but I'm watching. I'm watching the way you speak, the way you listen, how you use your manners, and noticing when you don't. I'm watching the way you are figuring this life thing out, the way you navigate your newly found opinions and personality. And this is what we want- Moms for our kids to grow and have mind's of their own, right? Well here we are teen years. I don't quite know when all of this happened, when you stopped snuggling, when you stopped needing to be reminded to brush your teeth or to do your homework, but it stopped. I didn't know it would happen to me, that you my child would start telling me I have no idea what I'm talking about, that you, my boy would kindly ask me to stop cheering loudly while you're at bat because it's "embarrassing", but here we are.
There is so much I do not understand about the teen years but please know I am doing my best. So to my oldest, although I do and will struggle letting you grow up, keep doing your thing. God gave me you, my first blessing, to teach me how to be selfless, how to put another before myself, how to be a mom and for that I can never thank YOU or God enough. You are caring, thoughtful and wise and I could not be prouder of the young man you are becoming. You have mountains to climb and the world ahead of you but please my boy, never forget you were and will always be MY world.
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