We Are Way More Alike Than We Are Different, Moms

Lately, and I guess I don't mean lately as in this week, but over the past few years there has been what feels like a huge rise of mom-shaming.  We've forgotten that we are in this together.  My guess is that this has much to do with social media.  While social media offers us so many wonderful things we are essentially putting ourselves out there for all to see.  We are vulnerable, on display with each photo and each thought we post.  The comparison has gotten out of hand.  We post our kiddos, their first words, first steps, vacations, our holidays and parties in hopes others will just scroll along thinking  "how cute" or "wow, they got big" maybe give it the good ole' "Like" but instead these photos and in turn our parenting choices are sometimes met with either vocal or I'm not sure if this is any better but silent criticism.  I can recall myself with my third baby making sure no bottles were visible in the pictures because I was unable to nurse...how crazy is that?  I have carried and birthed three babies but that was what was heavy on my heart so in turn heavy on my mind.  No one wants to be the one judged, so now a days if you're anything like me you just think of these things!  We think of these things to avoid the ....."Are you really letting your kid eat THAT?" "You're using that brand carseat?" "You still give your baby a pacifier?  "Your daughter can't write her name yet?" "I can't believe you aren't giving your kids the flu shot!"  How did we get this way, moms? Who named us judge and jury? And make no mistake I've been guilty of this too, I've scrolled Instagram myself and had some thoughts too! This mom gig is hard enough.  So rewarding, but gosh so hard!  Why and when did we add mom-shaming into the mix?  We are all busting our over-caffeinated, under-slept behinds and this is what we do to one another?  I don't know how things got this way but what I do know is it needs to stop now, like seriously yesterday.

Whether you exclusively nursed for twelve months, spent hours and hours pumping, cleaning pump parts or gave your baby formula from a bottle day one...your baby was fed.

Whether you hand collect eggs from your yard each morning before the sun is up, cook organic homemade meals from scratch nightly or heat up chicken nuggets in the toaster oven with a side of mac and cheese...your children are fed.

Whether you stay home and spend countless hours homeschooling your child, break the bank work extra shifts to send your chid to a pricey, highly ranked private school or send your little one's to the sweet public school down the street that you years ago attended yourself.....your kids will learn and grow.  

Whether you spend a small fortune on your children's wardrobe each season with a matching bow for each outfit or have your kid's happily rocking big sister's hand-me-downs.... they are clothed.

Whether your little one's have bunk beds, were sleep trained by three months or still safely co-sleep with you each night in first grade....they are rested.  

Whether you, mom, work a 40 hour work week missing your babies desperately or stay at home full time often wondering if you're losing your mind, praying for a conversation that isn't with a four year old.......you are doing what is right for you and your family in this season.  

Whether your home looks like a page ripped right out of Better Homes & Gardens or your home is in desperate need of an update, lived in, covered in toys and but filled with so much love...YOU mom, ARE home.

Maybe you're having Pinterest worthy parties with pony rides, maybe it's the happiest last minute boxed cake and pizza with family kind of birthday...maybe you bring your kids to church every Sunday...maybe you say a quiet prayer as you skip this week for soccer, again.  

It's not about having all of the right answers, or any answers for that matter that make us great moms. Let's face it we are all winging it here.  It's the fact that we are constantly thinking of our babies, our families, always putting them first, re-calculating when needed and always praying for them that makes us so great.  It takes a village and God gave us eachother, moms so instead next time you see something and start to think "I would never" "not my kid", well maybe you would, maybe they would.  We don't know everyone's circumstances, finances, family situations, or hearts but we know that at the end of the day we are all MOMS.  We know a mom's heart beats for their child, that needs no translation. There are so many more "me toos" to be had than "not mes".   SO let's do better.  Let's love each other and support one another.  We are way more alike than we are different, we are all doing our very best, moms and are SO much stronger together.