On Our Anniversary, I Love You More

6 years ago today I married my best friend.  It was one of the happiest days of my life and surely the most beautiful. I felt like a princess, it was everything I imagined it would be.  5 years ago I was on an island celebrating our first wedding anniversary, so excited, pregnant with our first little girl.  I was eating breakfast beachside in Punta Cana with brand new Christian Louboutins gifted to me.  Can life get better than that?

Flash forward to 2018 and the last few years have been a blur.  A blur of babies and sleepless nights, of "it's your to get ups" and "I changed the last diaper".  I feel a lot more like Cinderella, Cinderella pre-ball, you know the tattered dress Cinderella with the broom in hand.  I have a sick , cranky Pre-Schooler coughing away with a runny nose and awake all last night teething 18 month old literally hanging on me (like seriously I love them but they’re always touching me).  I’m on my second giant cup of coffee which of course has been re-heated 5x.  Side note, I really hope microwaves don’t cause cancer?  I can barely keep my eyes open.  I haven't brushed my teeth or combed my hair and am on our second attempt at breakfast because even though cereal was specifically requested my previously mentioned pre-schooler said she ”hates cereal".  

6 years ago we were vowing our love, drinking champagne and partying with our friends and family.  Today will look a little different, it will probably consist of making beds, laundry, snuggles, cleaning, maybe a doctor’s visit and if we get really fancy making dinner. It will definitely include like most days lots of diaper changes, yelling, some tears and time-outs.  The spilled drinks and sweeping of crumbs is constant. Naps are never promised but if both girls nap AND at the same time then the gods are on my side, it’s a good day and I will get to shower before 5 PM.  

I don’t know exactly what what time my husband will get home but I do know I’ll definitely be counting down the minutes until he does. I wait with anticipation like a child on Christmas morning to hear not Santa’s footsteps, but the sound of my husband’s car pulling in. I jump up excitedly for his arrival because now I have a partner in this.  A partner not only in marriage but a partner in bath time, in reading the bedtime stories, in the giving of many sips of water and the ten trips “back to bed”.   Life is so hard sometimes.  We're both balancing careers and raising little ones.  It is so hard but so rewarding.  My husband was and is all of the things he vowed to be on our wedding day and so much more.   

Today we may not even eat together.  There will be no gourmet meals but Annie’s Mac and Cheese will likely be on the menu.  The days of heels are out today and fuzzy socks are in.  Flannel pants and T-shirts replace lingerie and slow dancing is now dancing in the kitchen with babies on our hips to the Moana soundtrack on a loop.  Trips to Broadway or jeez even the movies have now been replaced with playing the same episode of Mindhunter over and over in attempt to watch in completion before one of us falls asleep. But when I wondered if things could get better? They have. They so have, because NOTHING is better than baby kisses, first words, first steps, first birthday’s, holidays and the giant smiles on their faces and squeals of joy (mine too) when Daddy comes home.  Life is so much busier and a lot of the time utterly exhausting but our hearts are so much fuller.  We are so blessed so today on our anniversary although life has changed so much, it is so much better than I imagined and I love you more.